


That Wild Blue Yonder

by Llama1412



Series: That Wild Blue Yonder [1]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24384379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llama1412/pseuds/Llama1412
Summary: Jaskier lives in the modern world as Julian Alfred Pancratz. When his family vacations at an old castle his cousin owns, he discovers an old wardrobe that leads to the Continent. Specifically, it leads to a wardrobe belonging to Madeline de Stael.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion/Countess de Stael
Series: That Wild Blue Yonder [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1760773
Comments: 46
Kudos: 103





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> shout out to the discord server who is to blame for me even venturing into Modern AU when I always said Canon setting was my domain. But it's not really Modern AU. Except it also kinda is?
> 
> Also, [January](https://archiveofourown.org/users/January/pseuds/January) put together a [playlist of medieval-style pop song covers.](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYEMe-UDHHjNi4SAUh5vdS0bBr98QN_Q-) I recommend listening as you read!

Julian had always been eccentric. He was too much for a lot of people – too loud, too excitable, too obnoxious. Instead of conforming and listening to his tutors, he turned his spite meter up to eleven and doubled down. Firstly, he renamed himself after a flower. Julian was just too average to capture who he truly was.

Jaskier? Jaskier was  _ him.  _ With the name, he gave himself permission to lean into his weird and his annoying.

And then he made a youtube channel. His parents had always scorned his hobby of learning obscure musical instruments, but it was paying off now! He played covers of pop songs on lutes and hurdy gurdies and he’d even rewritten  _ Toxic  _ for a ye olde audience, just for shits and giggles.

Tumblr had loved it.

Anyway, the point was, going on “vacation” with his family to an old castle in the Poland that had no wifi and barely had working plumbing was not his idea of a good time. His mother had budged on one area, at least: Jaskier had argued that his youtube channel was actually his job, and he couldn’t just go off without notice for a few weeks. So at least he has a MiFi to upload his videos with.

But that’s about all it could do. And Jaskier was fucking  _ bored,  _ so he went to explore the damn castle, mostly grumbling to himself about how stupid this whole trip was.

And then he lost his footing, tumbled down a (thankfully short) staircase, and ended up with his lower half sticking out of what had been the door to some sort of ornate old wardrobe. His stomach was definitely in the wardrobe. He could feel an annoying heeled shoe poking him in the side.

But his shoulders and head seemed to be somewhere else entirely. Somewhere else that looked like another castle, actually. What the fuck? He pulled himself the rest of the way through the wardrobe door and hopped onto the floor in this other castle that – based on the chill in the air where his castle had been hot & humid with summer’s storms – was somewhere else entirely. 

“Hello?” Jaskier called.

There was a clattering sound, and then he could hear the clack of heels walking quickly on stone floors. A chubby woman who looked about his age came running into the room, wearing a dress that he would expect to see at the Renaissance Fair. She was also holding what appeared to be an iron fire poker. Jaskier raised his hands, eyes wide.

“Where did you come from?” She asked, holding her weapon aloft.

“I – this is going to sound ridiculous, but I literally came from the closet.” Despite the seriousness of the situation, he had to suppress a laugh. He’d been out of the closet for a  _ long _ time.

The woman scoffed. “Try again.” Her eyes were hard and Jaskier was 100% convinced she would use that poker if she thought she had to.

What the fuck had he gotten himself into? And why was he still happier here than in the boring castle with his family? 

“Please don’t hurt me! It’s the truth, honestly – just look! I honestly came out of the closet!” Jaskier waved his hands wildly, indicating the wardrobe. 

She gave him a  _ look,  _ but his face must have been desperate enough to convince her, because she edged around him. “Don’t try anything!” She jabbed the poker towards him and he yelped. 

“I won’t! I swear! Just chill with that, will you?”

She shoved the clothes aside and could indeed see through the wardrobe to another castle. “What the fuck!?”

“So, I’m guessing you didn’t know about that?”

“No, I always have strange men climbing into my room. Of course I didn’t know about it!” She turned back towards him, looking fiercer than ever. Jaskier was honestly a little concerned his knees were going to give out. He wasn’t actually sure if it was with fear or with something else, but wow, her eyes were pretty when she was pissed. “Who are you, then? Where is that, on the other side?”

“Uh, I’m Jaskier. I mean, I’m Julian Pankratz, but call me Jaskier. Um, the other side is just my cousin’s castle? My family is vacationing there for the summer.”

She wrinkled her nose. “What are you talking about? The winter solstice was three days ago.” He panic must have shown on his face, because she sighed and lowered the poker. “You look like you’re gonna pass out. Just breathe.” Jaskier took great gulping gasps. “I’m Madeline, by the way. Madeline de Stael.”

“Hi,” he wheezed. “So, where is this?”

“You’re on my family’s estate in Redania. The closest town is Rinde.” Madeline patted his shoulder, touching him gently like she thought he might fall apart.

He was embarrassed to say he might. “I’ve never heard of Redania.”

“Well, what kingdom are you from then?”

“Poland? I mean, it’s not a kingdom, though.” He abruptly sat down. This confirmed his suspicions. “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto.”

“Who’s Toto?”

Jaskier opened his mouth to respond and then decided it might be best to take another deep breath instead. Okay, so somehow, the closet at his cousin’s estate led to another world. Cool. He could deal with that.

Probably.

“All right, so this is a totally different world. Awesome. You should tell me about it.” 

Madeline’s eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t you want to… go back home?”

Jaskier shrugged. “Nah, it was boring anyway.” The laugh that came from Madeline sounded exasperated, but Jaskier always considered it a pleasure to make a pretty lady laugh. “It’s nice to meet you, by the way.” He plucked a flower from the vase sitting on a stand nearby and offered it to Madeline with an elaborate bow.

Madeline shook her head with a smile. “Well, after the Conjunction of the Spheres –”

“The what now?” He gave her a bashful grin. “Maybe you’d better start at the beginning.”

“That is the beginning. The literal beginning. Humans came to the continent through the Conjunction of the Spheres. Unfortunately, so did monsters.”

“But not like – real monsters, right? Like, not  _ real,  _ real ones.”

“Oh, they’re real. The estate was haunted by a wraith once. It was freaky.” She did not look afraid. Actually, she looked kind of feral.

Jaskier found himself grinning. Madeline seemed like his type of person. “Madeline darling, I do believe this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier explores some more

Learning about an entire other world was a good way to pass an afternoon, honestly. But when they had to light candles to keep talking – with just a little flirting. Jaskier was pretty sure she was into him – he decided it was time to return to his family. He wasn’t sure how he would explain it, exactly – definitely not the truth. Who knew what they might do to the wardrobe, but he was definitely coming back!

He told Madeline as much. “Can I come back tomorrow? And maybe we can go explore outside?”

She laughed at him. “You can’t actually run into a monster  _ that _ easily.”

“Still!”

Madeline walked with him to the wardrobe. “Well, I guess this is goodbye?”

“Only for a little while,” Jaskier smiled. He pulled her into a quick hug. “Thanks for not murdering me. And for not freaking out in general.”

She startled when he touched her, like she wasn’t used to it, but she smiled at him after he pulled back. Her cheeks were a little pink and she cleared her throat. “Tomorrow, you have to tell me more about your world.”

Jaskier shrugged. “I warn you, it’s kinda boring.”

“Ha! If a world where you can capture a performance for thousands of people is boring, then I can’t imagine what you find interesting about here.”

“Are you kidding? You have monsters! And  _ magic!  _ Real, actual magic! That’s the coolest thing ever!” He shook his head. “I guess, compared to that, all the technology of my world seems like nothing.”

Madeline laughed. “Most of the magic I’ve seen hasn’t been all that impressive, honestly. Usually just little tricks and illusions. Maybe cures and tinctures for what ails you. But that’s pretty much it.”

“Pshaw,” Jaskier flapped his hand, waving the idea away. “That just makes it more mysterious and more interesting!” His stomach gurgled and he remembered that they hadn’t had dinner. “Well, I’d better get going. See you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Madeline nodded. 

Jaskier opened the wardrobe and crawled back through, wishing the passageway to the Continent was a little bigger. He fell out on the other side, where the door was still hanging crookedly off its hinges. “Il’ll have to fix that,” he told him, scrambling to his feet and heading back to the kitchen. He made sure to note exactly where the wardrobe was, so he wouldn’t have any trouble finding it again.

His family was in the family room, in exactly the positions he’d left them in. “Sorry I missed dinner,” he said. “Still some left?”

His mother gave him a concerned look and started walking toward him. “Honey, it’s barely past lunchtime. Are you feeling all right?”

But that couldn’t be right. He’d gone exploring right after lunch, and found the wardrobe not too long after that. He and Madeline had hung out all evening – it had been dark there! Jaskier rushed over to a window and pulled back a curtain. The bright sunlight burned his eyes and he flinched back, dropping the curtain back into place.

It definitely wasn’t night here. Not only were the seasons different on the Continent, but time must pass differently too! “So cool,” he breathed.

“Julian, really, I’m worried about you. What happened?” His mother reached out to touch his face again and Jaskier ducked out of her way. 

“I’m fine, mom, just hungry. I got caught up in a video and lost track of time is all.”

“Hhmph.” From his wingback chair, his father gave him a disapproving look. “You should always keep track of your work hours, Julian. A good businessman must always account for his time and demand a fair wage –”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, Dad,” Jaskier kissed his mother’s cheek and brushed past her to the kitchen. He was famished!

As he prepared himself a quick meal, he contemplated what this meant. Did time just move slower in his world? Or was it something more complicated? Could he calculate exactly how much time passed in each one?

If he went back now, how much time would have passed for Madeline? He bit into his sandwich and wandered back towards the wardrobe. If it was only a few hours after lunch here, and he’d been with Madeline for most of a day, then it would probably still be night for her.

Jaskier paced in front of the wardrobe. He should let his new friend get some sleep. People were always telling him that he was too clingy. He should let Madeline have her space.

But also, only a few hours had passed! What was he supposed to do for the rest of the day? There was a magical world waiting before him.

Maybe he’d go and ask Madeline if she wanted to go exploring. If not, he would just go on his own, as long as she let him back in to get home.

Decided, he nodded to himself. “I just want to explore. It’s not clinging.” He pushed aside the clothes he’d hidden the passageway behind and started crawling through. Only this time, he didn’t come out in Madeline’s castle. Actually, he wasn’t in a castle at all. Or inside. He stumbled to his feet and looked around. The wardrobe he’d come out through was leaning against the side of a hut, next to the firewood. No one was around, which was fortunate in that no one had seen him, but unfortunate in that he had no idea where he was. Also, it was dark as hell outside. Jaskier squinted into the night, but when he couldn’t even tell where the road was, he was forced to admit that it would be best if he just went back through the wardrobe.

At least that was a mystery he could investigate! Why was he coming out in different places? Jaskier climbed back through and tumbled to the floor in the castle. He should really get some pillows, cushion his fall.

Actually, at the thought of pillows, his eyelids felt heavy and he was reminded that just because it had only been a few hours in his world,  _ he’d _ lived through the rest of the afternoon.

Well, if time passed slower on the Continent, it was probably best to sleep now and hope that enough time will have passed when he woke. But first, he needed to make sure he could get back to Madeline.

“Okay,” he said aloud. Even though his audience was inanimate, Jaskier had always found it easier to think things through aloud. If that meant he talked to much, then that was just too bad for other people. “You gotta be able to get me back to Madeline, okay? She seems super cool – I mean, she threatened me with a poker! An actual fire poker! It was so cool!” He could feel drool gathering at the corner of his lips and wiped it away quickly. It totally wasn’t weird to find that attractive. He just liked strong people.

Strong, threatening people.

Jaskier shook himself. “Okay, let’s check that we can see Madeline again.” He parted the clothes again, even though it was silly to have covered the passageway. It had just seemed right at the time. He wiggled his way through and found himself in the cold stone passageway of Madeline’s castle again. He sighed deeply in relief.

But, considering the only reason he could tell where he was was because of the candle lighting the otherwise dark room, it was still night. Jaskier turned around and wiggled back through, shuffling the hangers in front of the passage again. He should also see about repairing that door after he slept. How did you even do that?

He headed to his room for a nap, even if his mother looked concerned over him taking an afternoon siesta. “We’re supposed to be on vacation, right? So if I’m tired, I may as well sleep,” he’d told her, and she had relented. 

Even though he was definitely going to wake up at some absurd hour of the night and be bored again, Jaskier fell asleep with a smile on his face. It wasn’t every day that you found a whole new world and a kickass new friend to boot. He was almost afraid to shut his eyes in case it would all turn out to be a dream, but his exhaustion gradually dragged him under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, this was only going to be 2 chapters. And then I wrote the 2nd chapter, and now it's 4 chapters oops. And this is just supposed to be the set up for the 'verse!


	3. Chapter 3

When Jaskier woke, it was dark outside and he felt groggy in that weird way where he wasn’t really tired anymore, but he also didn’t feel awake. He yawned expansively and rolled himself out of bed. After a shower and some breakfast, he felt a lot more alive, but he was also kind of convinced he’d had a really intense dream.

This wasn’t Narnia. Wardrobes didn’t just lead to magical worlds.

But it wouldn’t hurt to check, right?

Jaskier hummed to himself as he leisurely walked down the corridors of the somehow-still-hot castle. Wasn’t stone supposed to insulate? Why was it still so muggy and hot inside?

Well, Jaskier told himself, if it _was_ real and there was a magic world through the closet, then he could go somewhere nice and cool. He skipped around the corner and stopped abruptly in front of the stairs he’d fallen down before. He preferred not to repeat that bit of the dream/potential cool new reality. His shoulders ached with the memory of busting through the wooden wardrobe door.

Which was why the sight in front of him was so disappointing. The wardrobe was there, but the door looked good as – well, not new, because the whole thing looked really, really old, but it wasn’t broken. If it was real, the door should have been broken.

Mood suddenly sullen, Jaskier pulled the door open with more force than necessary. He took a deep breath and then pushed the hangers aside.

It was real. He felt like he might cry at the sight of the stone castle on the other side of the passageway. Mood immediately restore, Jaskier wiggled through the passageway and rolled into a cartwheel when he emerged on the other side. 

“Madeline~” he called. “It’s Jaskier! From last night! I’m so glad it wasn’t a dream!”

There was a high pitch squeak from the next room and Madeline’s voice called out, “hold on.” After a few moments, she emerged, looking surprisingly put together considering she was followed out by a woman with long hair who was wearing clothing that was much drabber than Madeline’s. 

She curtsied to him, and walked quickly past him until she disappeared from view. Jaskier turned to Madeline with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “So who was that?”

Madeline rolled her eyes and waved him into her room. “That was Genevieve, and dammit, before you interrupted, I was soooo close to her saying yes to a date.” She dropped onto her bed and sighed dramatically. “She responds so well to my flirting, but I don’t know if she’s just that shy or if I’m seeing things.”

“Well, how long have you been flirting?” Jaskier wandered over to her actual wardrobe – why did she have another in a separate room, anyway? – and started looking through her clothes, holding a few dresses up to himself consideringly.

“Three years.”

“Wow.” Jaskier blinked and turned to her, a long sleeveless off-white dress in hand. The fabric of it was soft and he couldn’t stop running his fingers over it. “You’re sure she knows you’re flirting?”

Madeline shot him a long suffering look. “I gave up being subtle after the first year.” She shook her head. “Why is dating so hard?”

“Amen to that.”

Her brow crinkled. “A-what?”

“It’s – eh, nevermind. Just a way to say, ‘I feel ya’.” Jaskier held up the dress. “This is so soft. Can I try it on?”

Madeline blinked in surprise, but shrugged. “Go for it. Do they not have satin in your world?”

Jaskier shrugged. “They totally do, I’ve just never worn it, I guess. But I’m definitely gonna start!”

He shucked his t-shirt and skinny jeans and pulled the dress on over his head. Madeline laughed when he got stuck, but she got up and helped him until he could stand in front of the ornate floor length mirror. Jaskier grinned at himself – he was still very clearly masculine, with his chest hair on display from the bias cut neckline, but the hem of the dress fell just above his ankles and there was a long train attached to the dress. He picked up the train and spun in place.

“What do you think?”

Madeline grinned. “Better with make-up, I think.” She laughed at the way his eyes lit up and dragged him over to her vanity. The makeup she had looked completely different from what Jaskier was used to, but Madeline handled the brush expertly as she drew it through the paint and applied it to his eyes and lips. “There. Perfect!”

Jaskier fluttered his eyes at himself in the mirror. He looked downright ravishing, if he did say so himself. 

“Oh! I forgot to tell you! Time passes differently in my world! Even though we hung out all afternoon yesterday, only a few hours had passed in my world! Isn’t that crazy?”

“Seriously? So what does that mean? For you, I mean.” Madeline asked.

“Well, I was thinking. What if I went out and really explored your world? Like, if a whole day is only a few hours, then I have tons of time!”

“Hmm,” Madeline tilted her head in thought. “You don’t exactly fit in, though.”

“I mean, I could just be really eccentric?”

“You’re not old enough for that.” She tapped her lip in thought. “Artists are always peculiar. Most actors travel with a troupe, but you play music, right? You could be a bard!”

“Ooooooh!” Jaskier leaned forward in excitement. “That sounds awesome. I just get to go around singing all day? That’s the dream! But, uh...I don’t really write my own music. I mean, I write lyrics, but like...parodies, you know?”

Madeline shrugged. “It’s not as if we’ll know your music, will we? Just maybe try to avoid mentions of your technology. Speaking of which…” She turned an expectant look on him and he made her wait for a bit before grinning and reaching for his discarded pants.

“Okay,” he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “If this works, you’re watching my videos first.”

“Deal. Show me how it works!”

“Okay – shit. There’s no signal. I didn’t even think about internet.”

“What’s internet?”

“It’s like – these satellites are in orbit and – somehow that means I can watch youtube videos?” He shook his head with a wry laugh. “I honestly don’t how it works, I just know what it is.” He pursed his lips in thought. “If it’s just internet, I wonder if my laptop will work with an ethernet cord?”

“I have no idea what that is, but yes. Worth a shot, right?”

He returned Madeline’s grin and got up. “Okay – wait, shit, the whole reason I didn’t have my phone yesterday is because there’s no damn wifi here. But, maybe if we’re close enough to my MiFi, it’ll work?”

Madeline gave him a blank look. “I’m not so sure we speak the same language anymore.”

He laughed. “No, hold on, c’mere. We gotta get close to the wardrobe. The MiFi has to be in my world, but if it’s close enough, maybe my phone in this world can use it!”

He bounced with excitement and tugged on her hand to get her to follow him. It took longer than he thought to get a signal – Madeline got bored and started painting her toes on the floor – but finally, he pulled up his youtube channel.

“Okay, let’s start with _Ye Olde Toxic.”_ Jaskier clicked on his most-liked video and mouthed along to the song. 

Madeline’s face morphed from confused and kind of horrified to absolutely enamored as the video went on. “You absolutely have to perform this stuff here. I need everyone to experience this.”

Jaskier laughed brightly. “You’re right – everyone should experience me.”

She punched his shoulder with a chuckle. “Show me more.”

They spent the morning crowded in front of Madeline’s wardrobe, holding his cellphone high to try to get the best signal possible until they got tired of sitting on the floor. 

“Can we go into town?” Jaskier asked, eager to truly see this magical world. And also to see a monster. He really, really wanted to see a monster.

Who wouldn’t?

“Not dressed like that, unfortunately.” Madeline frowned. “But I think I might have something that will work for your bard persona.” 

“Yessss! Can it also be soft like this?” He swirled around in the dress one last time and almost tripped over the trail. “And maybe not as long.”

“No no, I got it. I have the perfect look for you.” Madeline’s smirk was not at all reassuring, but Jaskier figured she knew her world best.

He was less sure when he actually saw the outfit. It looked nothing like either Madeline or that girl Genevieve’s clothes. He wiggled, testing how he felt. The pants were loose, tapering in towards his ankles, and Madeline had dug out boots that fit him from somewhere. He was wearing an embroidered silk shirt and a blue jacket with red design details. “I like it!” He declared, turning to check out his ass in the mirror. Jaskier unfastened the first several buttons of the jacket and made sure some of his chest hair peeked out. He’d been told it was one of his best features – after his face, his voice, and his hands, of course – and he enjoyed showing it off.

“Actually, you should wear the doublet closed. Otherwise you’re showing off your underwear.” Madeline ruined his fun by pointing out.

“So?”

She raised her eyebrows with a laugh. “All right then. Let’s go!” She nearly ran to her bedroom door, but then she stopped and held up a finger. “Uh, I perhaps should have mentioned. I’m a Countess. This is my castle.”

“Oh. Okay, so you’re important?”

“Not really,” she scoffed. “I basically have all the responsibilities of holding a title and running an estate, and the only benefit is getting invited to all the good parties. Which, okay, is a pretty good bonus.”

“Ooooh, you should bring me to the next party!”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Let’s see how you do around people, first.” She turned the door handle. “Anyway, um, my household staff definitely know about you. Not sure where they think you came from–”

“Through the window, naturally,” Jaskier waved towards the window which had no convenient trellis or other architectural ladder up the wall.

“Sure. Anyway, I think I should be your patron.”

“What?”

“All artists – well, all good artists – have patrons! It’s how the arts are funded! Nobles with money to spare invest in an artist, and in exchange, we get something – commissioned art, a private performance, you get the idea. What do you think?”

“I mean, sure, I guess? What would I have to do?”

“Just perform.” She smiled. “Since I know the truth about you, this is a good excuse for you to be around my estate. And it means you’ll be able to eat while you’re here.”

“Oh. Yes, I would like that.” His stomach grumbled. “Maybe soon on that food?”

Madeline nodded. “Let’s go into town and eat that the tavern. That way you can be around people and watch them while you eat.”

“Sounds good to me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't had the chance to see Jaskier (aka Joey Batey) in a dress, I [highly recommend it.](https://lastfm.freetls.fastly.net/i/u/770x0/cd9679569d90511ed42e0cd0e7c5e2b4.jpg)


	4. Epilogue: The Fateful Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier meets a Witcher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to wibblywobbly on Discord for the help!  
> Lyrics used are from Holding Out For A Hero by Bonnie Tyler

Madeline’s idea to pose as a bard was genius. People just dismissed when he didn’t know something important as a bard leaning into his role. It was amazing!

Of course, they also expected him to be a bard. Which wasn’t a problem – or shouldn’t have been. Jaskier was quite accomplished with both the lute and the hurdy gurdy, and that was just to start! He finally had a chance to really use his medieval instruments hobby for more than youtube hits!

Well, youtube paid his bills, so he wasn’t complaining. Also, his family was loaded, but still. Youtube loved him enough to pay him!

So why wouldn’t these peasants? And they were so mean about it, throwing food at him! 

He took the food though. You shouldn’t be picky about such things. Food was food, after all. 

Madeline had responded to his music so well, he’d been quite encouraged! Also, it was Britney! Who didn’t like Britney!?

The villagers in Hagge, apparently. Jaskier was offended on her behalf. And his own! He was a damn treat to witness, thank you very much!

Madeline had dragged him back home after that. “Maybe you should just play your instrument? You could join a traveling troupe? Except for the whole going home thing. And the very obviously not from around here thing.”

“I will _make_ them love me!” Jaskier declared to the skies.

The villagers in Barcin didn’t like Britney either. He was starting to wonder if it might be him, rather than Britney. _Toxic_ had never fallen so flat for him!

After the third fight, Madeline dragged him back to her castle, for good this time. Jaskier was forced to agree that yes, maybe he was getting a little over invested in things, and maybe he needed a while to cool off. He crawled back through the passageway to his world, still in his bardic outfit. 

And immediately decided that he was not, in fact, done. He had no idea how he would sneak past Madeline to get to another town, but by gods, he would make at least _one_ town on the magical fucking continent appreciate him.

The wardrobe had no reaction to his proclamation, which Jaskier thought was rather rude of it. “Could at least give me a review. Some feedback notes. Hell, even a cheer would be good.” Muttering to himself, Jaskier shoved the hangers aside and found himself – definitely not in Madeline’s castle.

Actually, he appeared to be alarmingly close to a sharp drop down a very, very high cliff. Jaskier gulped and pulled himself to his feet with delicacy. He edged around the wardrobe he’d emerged from and looked around. He appeared to be outside a large building built into the side of a far too small mountain, with long suspended bridges leading to more mountainous cliffs with too many buildings stuffed onto them.

Jaskier was beginning to think he might be afraid of heights, actually. He’d always thought he wasn’t, but it was a _long_ way down. 

Keeping a close eye on the drop ended with him running straight into a pillar, so Jaskier tried to keep one eye on the edge and one in front of him as he walked into what turned out to be a tavern. Good. He could use a drink.

“Does that lute mean you play?” The tavern owner asked.

“Indeed, good sir! I am the bard Jaskier, at your service,” he bowed deeply, extending an arm behind him with a flourish.

The tavern owner stared at him for a long time. “You any good?”

The nerve of such a question! Jaskier took a deep breath to properly tell him whose company he was lucky enough to find himself in – and deflated when he remembered the jeers his audiences thus far had met him with. “I’m new,” he settled on.

“Hnn,” the tavern owner nodded. “If your playing brings in a night crowd, I take 10% of your coin.”

Jaskier blinked. “Oh. Uh.” Madeline had given him a pouch of coin. _That’s what a patron is for,_ she’d said, but she hadn’t actually taught him her currency yet. They had focused on history and peoples, and he was quickly realizing he had no idea what he was doing. But hey, he got to keep 90%! That was good, right? “Give me an ale and we’ve got a deal.”

The tavern own snorted, but did pour him a drink, so Jaskier considered it a fair trade. Gulping down his ale, Jaskier set down his lute case and got ready to play. _Toxic_ was obviously just too good for folks on this continent to appreciate. Fine then. He’d been planning his next video – may as well go ahead and preview that song.

He cleared his throat and began strum his lute slowly.

_Where have all the good men gone,  
_ _And where are all the gods?  
_ _Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?  
_ _Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?  
_ _Late at night I toss and I turn  
_ _And I dream of what I need_

He spun in place and began tapping his foot in time with the beat as he sped up the tempo.

_I need a hero  
_ _I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
_ _He's gotta be strong  
_ _And he's gotta be fast  
_ _And he's gotta be fresh from the fight_

The crowd was staring at him and Jaskier remembered what he loved about performing, whether it was before the camera or a live audience.

_I need a hero  
_ _I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
_ _He's gotta be sure  
_ _And it's gotta be soon  
_ _And he's gotta be larger than life!  
_ _Larger than life_

Jaskier winked at a pretty young woman and continued.

_Somewhere after midnight  
_ _In my wildest fantasy  
_ _Somewhere just beyond my reach  
_ _There's someone reaching back for me  
_ _Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat  
_ _It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet_

Jaskier spun again, and sang, “Ooooh, I need a hero–” and was cut off by someone yelling.

“Find yourself a hero somewhere else, ponce!”

The crowd laughed and jeered in response, and followed the hecklers lead, pelting Jaskier with their bread.

“Oi! Stop, fuck off!” Jaskier edged back towards his lute case, hands raised defensively in front of him. “I’m so glad I could just bring you all together like this.” He set his lute down and grabbed some of the bread, sticking it into his pants when he realized he had no pockets. Waste not, want not, right?

Bread was a minor consolation for another flop though. He glanced around the tavern for something to amuse himself with and spotted a man sitting alone in the corner who hadn’t chucked his bread at Jaskier and also hadn’t jeered him.

He also had very, very broad shoulders and pretty long white hair. Jaskier definitely had to talk to him. He grabbed an ale off a server’s tray and made his way over.

“I love the way you just... sit in the corner and brood,” Jaskier said, leaning against a pillar and trying to look mysterious and seductive.

The man was not impressed. “I’m here to drink alone.”

“Good. Yeah, good.” Jaskier said. “No one else hesitated to comment on the quality of my performance, except,” he plopped himself down into the seat across from the man. “For you. Come on. You don’t want to keep a man with…” Crap, he hadn’t thought this line through. “Bread in his pants waiting. You must have some review for me. Three words or less.”

The man stared at him blankly. “They don’t exist.”

“What don’t exist?”

“The heroes in your song.” He took a sip of his ale. “Closest would probably be a werewolf – strong, fast, fresh from a fight at the end of the night.”

Jaskier was taken aback. What the fuck was this guy talking about. “And how would you know?” He asked.

The man just stared at him as if the answer was obvious.

“Oh fun.” Jaskier tried to recall if there was anything from Madeline’s lessons that made sense. Wait, there was something about a white haired monster hunter, wasn’t there? “White hair, big old loner, two very, very scary looking swords. I know who you are.”

Jaskier was proud of himself for putting it together and followed when the man rose from his seat, leaving a coin behind – a tip for Jaskier? He took it, just in case.

“You’re the Witcher, Geralt of Rivia.” Geralt kept walking away from him, but didn’t deny it. “Called it!”

Jaskier overheard one of the villagers hiring Geralt for a job and realized this was the _perfect_ opportunity to finally see a monster. He ran after the Witcher, hoping the villager’s Devil was well away from the scary mountain cliff buildings.

He followed after the Witcher hurrying to catch up. The man clearly wasn’t delighted with his presence, but he didn’t actually protest. Even the gut punch was clearly over the name, rather than trying to drive Jaskier away.

Well, it might have been meant to do that too, but it was not going to succeed. Geralt of Rivia was a downright snack and also Jaskier’s best chance at getting to see a monster. Jaskier wasn’t going anywhere. 

He’d actually just covered elves with Madeline earlier, so Jaskier was perhaps a little too eager to deliver exposition.

Only, it turned out Madeline’s schooling about elves had been missing a few key details. He wasn’t looking forward to breaking it to her. Even just thinking of Filavandrel talking about digging a mass grave for his loved ones and elven babies being fertilizer for human grain made nausea rise up in his stomach.

And he wasn’t the only one. Geralt tried not to show it, but it was clear as day that he sympathized with the elves. He even gave them all the coin that villager had given him. Even after the elves had beaten him and nearly killed him. Even then, Geralt had only argued for them to leave Jaskier alone.

Geralt didn’t even like him, he was pretty sure. He wanted Geralt to, wanted it very badly, and not just because he wanted to climb the man like a tree. No, he wanted Geralt to like him, to be his friend, because there was something about Geralt that was so very noble. So very _special._

Maybe people around here didn’t see it, but Jaskier did. That’s why he wanted to know Geralt. That gruff exterior truly did hide a heart of gold and Jaskier wanted to get to know him.

Maybe Geralt didn’t want a friend, but Jaskier had to try. Besides, so far, the wardrobe had brought him to Madeline, some place he couldn’t see, and here, to Geralt. Maybe it meant nothing, but maybe it meant the wardrobe knew he’d find something interesting here. And he certainly had.

Geralt of Rivia was by far the most interesting person Jaskier had ever met.

Besides, as unexpectedly as this adventure had gone, he’d gotten to see a real monster, experience an abduction, witness a hero in action, _and_ he’d even written an original song! It was pretty good, too, if Jaskier did say so himself.

Maybe Madeline could even help him record a video of him singing it. Jaskier was thinking that maybe performing as a medieval bard should be his new _thing,_ in both worlds.

For now, he parted ways with Geralt and headed back to the wardrobe in Posada. After everything that had happened today, he was exhausted. But tomorrow, he was definitely going to tell Madeline everything, and then try to find Geralt again. 

Jaskier crawled through the passageway back to his own castle – well, his cousin’s. But the wardrobe was so amazing, maybe Jaskier should see if he could buy it? Or at least get visitation rights. He had every intention of spending as much of his time as possible in the magical world of the continent, and he wasn’t going to let a little thing like trespass stop him. But it was probably still best if he pursued legal options first.

And if his cousin said no, then there was always breaking and entering! Jaskier had always wanted the chance to commit a felony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, this is not the end of this series! But it is the end of the set up, so now I can write random snippets with modern!Jaskier in canon 'verse lol  
> With bonus Countess Madeline de Stael


End file.
